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My storybook project


                                    Image information: Welcome road sign



Comments

  1. Hey Donovan!

    I just read your intro to your ghost stories and honestly, I can say it left me wanting more! This is not a bad thing, by wanting more I am letting you know that it piqued my interest a lot and I wish there were stories that I could read right now. I am a big horror/ghost story fan, so this is definitely something that I am looking forward to reading. I love all the adjectives you used to give your intro a creepy yet intriguing vibe. I kind of wished that I got a little more background info about what was done in the Ellison medical building because the way your introduced it wet my appetite. Also, this is just a suggestion but maybe give us one or two more mysteries that we will discover while reading your blog. I definitely know I will be back to keep up with your storytelling so that way I can find out what the university is hiding from us! Overall, I was really captivated by your intro and cannot wait until your first story comes out.

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  2. Hey Donovan!

    I just read your intro to your ghost stories storybook and the first thing that popped out to me was the title. I love that it had an eerie/cliff hanger type feel to it; it really helped me feel the ghost part of your ghost stories. Your intro left me wanting to read the rest of the stories right then and there; especially the one dealing with the clock tower considering I heard those same rumors when I toured here! Next, what if you gave more details into HOW you guys (as alumni) got this information about the truth behind these stories? As the reader I was a little confused on why you guys knew the truth but us students couldn't know yet. I think you did a great job explaining in your conclusion how the readers should stay calm for now, but that they should continuously check back if they want to find out the truth behind their beloved school. It was really cool to see how you related this back to the University of Oklahoma. Great work!

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  3. Hi Donovan!
    When I first saw your website, the banner image looked so cool! It has a mysterious and eerie feel, and it made me excited to read more! Your introduction was intriguing as well! I can’t wait to read more stories from you as I am a big ghost story lover. I wonder how OU was able to keep these horrific tragedies quiet. How did no one know these secrets? Who was in charge of keeping the secrets quiet? Are the Alumnus the only ones who know everything? How did it come to this way where current students do not know, but the Alumus do? These questions I brought up could help explore the “why” behind it all! It would add background into the introduction. In addition, I like how you did not mention which other stories you would be discussing besides the clock tower story. This created an even more suspenseful feel and created a cliffhanger in your introduction!

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  4. Hi Donovan!
    I love the premise of your story! My co for camp my first session now sometimes gives the ghost story tour. It is such a fun tour to go on and I am exciting to see how you explain the story versus how he does. I think my favorite thing, however, is how you introduced your story through a letter with Alumnus. I have often thought about how my time at OU would be best explained, so I kinda wish I could write a letter too. I can't wait to see how you move on and keep it going with your next story. I have so many questions about how it is going but I am sure you'll answer them later! Great job!

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  5. Hey Donovan,
    I have to say I love how interesting you made the introduction. It was a short introduction that immediately pulled me in. The way you wrote it made me want to read more. The bit about us not knowing something about the ghost stories at OU and acting as if you held the answers was thoroughly enjoyable. I could see this being on the back of a book. I would say though that I would like to know a bit more about what it is I am going to read in the next three stories. I got a few hints such as you referencing the Ellison medical building and the “vile deeds that were done to students”, but it never goes in to more detail. I figure it is because you don’t want to give too much away. I think all in all that you introduction was spot on for pulling someone into the next couple stories just for your writing style, it leaves people wanting to read more.

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  6. Hey Donovan!

    Like the others commenting here, I just read your introduction for your storybook, and I have to say, I am excited to continue reading. I remember hearing about the clock tower story and I am excited to see how you make that really detailed and intriguing. Have you heard about the kid that is under the glass floor in the library? Apparently, at night, you can see his footsteps under the glass. Creepy! I think you this story has a lot of potential, and knowing OU, you can do a lot of things with it. Additionally, not a lot of people know this, but the OU engineering quad has tunnels underneath all the buildings connecting them together. So the EPF, and Carson Engineering Center and Devon I believe are all connected by tunnels. That would be a really good story that I would love to read! Good luck with everything!

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  7. Hi Donovan!

    I chose your storybook off the options page because I thought your cover photo of the library/"Where is everyone?" tagline sounded super intriguing, so I think your website is super successful thus far. After I read your intro, it definitely lived up to my expectations! I think that all the ghost stories surrounding OU are really entertaining, and I think you did a good job at keeping the reader excited about reading what is coming from your intro. The only thing that confused me a little was on your cover page where it says, "This is a Storybook project for MLLL-3043-995 at the University of Oklahoma, Spring 2017." I wasn't sure if there was a reason it says Spring 2017 or what since it's Fall 2019 so you might want to change that if not! Also, I clicked on your link to the banner photo and noticed it didn't match the photo (of the library). Anyways, your intro made me excited to read your stories and left me wondering what they were going to be about.

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  8. Hi Donovan!
    Your introduction was super cool and it's funny because when I brainstormed, I had and idea to do something similar to this!! There are many stories that I have heard about at OU, but I am sure that I have not heard all of them. I cannot wait to see what other stories you have conjured. I am very curious to read how you are going to spin these stories. I think your storybook might grab more attention if you lead into the first story in a suspenseful way or ask a mysterious question. I also think it will make your stories fun to read if you make them really detailed. For example, what are all the "vile deeds" that were committed? I really liked your ending and that it said "check back here every so often" because it was very inviting. I bookmarked your storybook and I can't wait to see where you take these tales!! Good luck writing!!

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  9. Hey Donovan!
    I’m so excited to begin reading your short ghost stories about places in/near OU. This obviously has some direct effect on me, so when I’m walking about campus, I can reflect on the fact that there are a ton more ghosts that I didn’t know that are lurking about. I’ve always had a fascination with ghost stories, which is why I’m telling Texas ghost stories over on my blog! The tone that you used within the introduction was perfect, a light, somewhat humorous tone speaking of the tragic acts that have occurred on campus. This makes it so the reader is left feeling slightly uneasy, worrying about what could occur in the places that they visit almost daily. I’m so looking forward to your units, especially if something that you speak of involves the library or other abandoned mental institutions.
    Sincerely,
    Andrew Barton

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  10. Hey Donovan!
    I loved your introduction to your storybook website! I thought it was cool how you made it eery and funny at the same time, that can be hard to do. Something else that I really liked about the introduction was how you made it very relatable. I found myself intrigued about the traditions that you spoke of, and whether or not you are actually going to be telling real stories that are actually myths at OU. I have never heard of the Ellison medical building myth, and so this caught my attention most. Is this actually a myth or did you make it up? Your writing style was so effective it was hard to tell!
    Something I would suggest adding would be a clearer picture of the university. On the website, your picture came up somewhat blurry. This could have been on purpose to make it seem more scary and eery, but it also seemed just like a blurry picture.
    Overall, I really liked your story and I am excited to follow along throughout this semester.

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  11. Hey Donovan,
    I really liked the story you told about the Water Boys! I had never known that the Huf had it’s share of ghosts – will definitely be looking out next time I’m there super early/very late. They way that you’ve told the story, really made it seem like you were there, or have had interactions with these ghosts in the past! Thankfully the water boys don’t seem to be too unfriendly, simply leaving out basketballs in the dark. I mean, if I was dead, I’d probably want to pass the time by playing basketball. I wonder if they’re just as good nowadays? The pacing of your story could use a tad bit of work – I was hoping you’d go more into the ghost aspects of the boys – unfortunately their “ends” are pretty anticlimactic – disappearing after a tournament isn’t too insane. Overall, very good first edition to your storybook!

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  12. Hi Donovan,

    I liked your decision to pursue the ghost stories that have popped up around campus. I took the ghost tour once and I'm happy you're giving us some back story to them. I really liked the background around the story of the Huff. It gave the readers a good intro to what the situation would be and to relate to the characters. I liked that you ended up relating it to yourself and your dad's experience and made it into a story for your project. I do wonder what happened to the water boys after they left the court. Didn't really seem like a deathly kind of end for them to become ghosts. At the end you followed up with the eerie scene of the basketballs being found on the court. It could've helped if you created a rumor about why the water boys’ ghosts are there still practicing. I liked your writing a lot, it helped me get lost in the story and keep wanting more to happen. Good work!

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  13. I really like the premise for your project. It is always a lot of fun to imagine a place close to home as being haunted. It makes it feel a lot more real and all the spookier. Your introduction was really good. It set up your site well and did a good job of outlining how truly terrifying OU can be. I found myself dying to continue reading and find out all of the creepy spooky mysteries that OU has to offer. I think mentioning the clock tower was brilliant, because everyone knows that story and it gives everything that follows some real credibility. I have one small suggestion that I think could really help your site. I think it would complete the whole spooky vibe if you add an image behind the text. I think it would make the story more immersive and would fit the stories better than the bright white.

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  14. Hi Donovan!

    The set up of your storybook is amazing! What a great topic you chose because it is something that is so prominent to the students on OU's campus. I love the overall vibe that you seemed to be going for. The introduction left me wanting to continue reading, and that is exactly what makes a great introduction! I love how you used your imagination on how to make it scary yet still insanely entertaining. The addition of the different locations on campus was perfect, and I think you chose great options! I look forward to continuing reading your stories and gain new insight on the campus here at OU. Good work!

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  15. Hey Donovan! I was really excited to read your storybook when I saw the title, because I've kind of always been interested in the ghost stories around OU. I definitely wasn't disappointed when I read your initial stories! First off, I want to say that I really like the layout of your storybook. I like the OU illustrations you placed in your banner. I saw that you didn't include a picture of the Huff in your story though-- maybe that would be a good thing to think about adding? Or a picture of the basketball courts? Second, I think your writing overall was really great. Getting into your story about the Huff, the suspenseful way you wrote really made the story seem eerie, which is great when you're telling ghost stories! I like that you added some of your own elements to the original stories, as well. It was really fun to read overall! I'm excited to see where you'll go with the rest of your stories.. Maybe you'll talk about the clock tower, or the stacks, or maybe the tunnels under campus? That would be so cool!

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  16. Hello Donovan!

    Your introduction does a great job setting up the story! Ghost stories of OU sounds like a really interesting subject to get to write about for your project! I really liked the picture you used for your banner, however when I clicked the link to your banner image it led me somewhere else? Your first story was really good! I can only image how people would have snuck into the huff back in the day, today that seems like an impossible task. The story makes me wonder why intramural sports were so competitive back in the day? Maybe they are today too, I'm just not much of a sports guy lol. I agree with Abbi that adding photos of the huff would add some great visuals. Especially if you could find photos of the huff from back in the 80's when your story takes place. I was also curious to know, to what extent are the stories your telling are true? Great story!

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  17. Donovan,
    This one gave me the spooks, which I love because it is spooky season. I did not know about this tale but it is very interesting. I actually do not know about any of the lore of the university but I am interesting in hearing them from your blog. You did a good job of describing the game. I wonder what happened to the boys? Why did this game mean so much to them? Why would they haunt the girl's locker room?
    I would like to hear more scary details. Maybe describe the boys personalities.

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  18. Donovan,
    I really enjoy reading your storybook because it is so mysterious and eerie. Your locations are prime spots of our university and so it really comes to life when you tell the story. I am so glad I do not really study in the biz, because I 100% believe in ghosts and if "John's" spirit is there, I would be terrified. I honestly have never heard a myth about the biz, but if this one is true, I really like that you took the actual myth and created a reason for it to have happened. I am not saying that John brought his death upon himself, but I do wonder why John antagonized the bullies. That only made them treat him worse. Also, why did he have to brag in front of the class? He was acting like a child! I cannot wait to see what other location you choose and what story comes with it! Great job!!

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  19. Hey Donovan! I loved getting to come back and read your storybook after reading it for the first time a couple of weeks ago. You have really made some great progress! I agree with some of the comments above, it would be great if you included some more details about the boys' personalities, as well as more scary details in the stories. Something else that might be cool would be to use actual pictures from OU at the bottom of your stories. Some things I enjoyed about your stories included the eerieness of each story, as well as the fact that I am getting to read about my own university. Your stories are more relatable because they are actually about OU, which is super fun! Over the next few weeks, I am excited to read another myth and see what story you tell us about. Great job with this so far!

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  20. Hi Donovan! I absolutely love the concept for your project. I was seriously questioning if your stories were true or not! I actually looked them up! This points to your care in detail and voice when telling your stories, which is definitely very appealing.
    Regarding your first story about the five athletes who go missing, I really wanted to know what happened to them. Were their bodies found? Did their parents ever report them? Why did they go missing? Did they commit suicide? Were they murdered? Lots of questions that are very much unanswered. I think your story could do with at least some form of resolution other than they became ghosts.
    Also, there are a couple of grammatical errors in your second story about the Bizz. I would advise that you have someone look over and edit just the technical errors.
    You cultivated suspense and intrigue in your stories and I'm excited to see what I imagine will be a thrilling climax! Good job!
    - Cate Howell

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  21. Hi Donovan! Your storybook has definitely done its job and I am thoroughly spooked. Your writing is amazing and I found myself eager to keep reading in anticipation of what would happen next. Great job on that front! One thing I noticed was that the images you used are a little blurry, so I would suggest finding higher resolution images online. Furthermore, I think it would help the reader become more invested in the story if the banner images you used corresponded to the locations you talked about. For example, you could try using an empty basketball court for your story set in the Huff and an image of the great reading room or library stacks for your story about the Bizz. Another quick suggestion I have is arranging the links in the top right corner of your storybook so that the Intro page is placed between the Home page and your first story. This makes it slightly easier to navigate through your storybook in order. Good luck on the rest of your storybook!

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  22. Hi Donovan! I liked your storybook. It is very spooky reading it just after Halloween. There is a common theme in your stories of OU covering up the deaths. I love that kind of conspiracy aspect of your stories. I wondered what happened to the basketball team. They just disappeared! That is almost as scary as finding out they had been murdered or something! I was confused when the punishment for coming last in the shooting contest was a cold shower in the women's locker room. How was this allowed and why was it considered such a harsh punishment? Also, from your author's note I don't quite know how much of the story is real, part of Provine's original telling, or made up by you. I think adding more details about how you changed the story from Jeff Provine's stories would be a nice addition. Can't wait to read more ghost stories! Good luck with the rest of the semester.

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  23. Hi Donovan,

    I really like the idea behind ghost stories about buildings on campus. I read your introduction and it's pretty creepy to think about vile deeds being done to students at the Ellison medical building! I also read The Bizz and was saddened by John's story. How come no one tried to stop them from bullying him or he didn't try to seek help from others? I'm a little surprised that John would keep antagonizing by bragging about his test grade and shooting paper at them. I think most people who get bullied try to withdraw or avoid attention as much as possible. I also think adding a couple of scenes with dialogue and emotion would make the story more interesting. I'm really curious to know more details about what happens what John scares students at the Bizz. Anyway good story and I'm looking forward to the next one!

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  24. Hi Donovan!

    Wow what a cool idea for a project! Anyways, this week the feedback is focused on the author's note. To really dial in on your author's notes I read them first before reading the story. Something you may want to consider adding to the author's notes are the curses from the Provine chapters you talk about. You could explain them or you could even just create a bulleted list. I would look at adding that if you get the chance. Also, maybe spend some time explaining how you got from the curse you read about to the story you created if you add that! Concerning the stories, they are awesome. I love the little touches added like your signature at the end of each story. I think it is cool that the Alumni is telling the story. I actually had no idea that alumnus was a word until your project, so thank you for sharing ha ha! Overall, well done!

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  25. Hey Donovan,
    I just read your ghost story about our great library here on campus and I just have to say – I’ll definitely be looking about when I’m studying in the GRR. I’ve consistently liked your tone of voice when telling these stories. I can definitely tell that you were a tour guide here at OU – the matter of fact way of speaking along with adding some humor can definitely go a long way in telling a ghost story. Having some backstory for John really gave his character some dimensions, but at the same time I was saddened to see him turn to shooting rubber bands at the bullies. I was hoping he’d be above that, but everyone has their breaking points. I’m wondering if for your next story, you could turn to a more modern setting, with mental illness being at the core of the story. You could somehow draw it out to be relating to the great amount of stress that everyone here feels. Overall, a great, fun story to read!
    Andrew

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  26. Hey Donovan! I'm back to read your storybook project again because I liked it so much the first time. I really like what you've done with your latest story about the Bizz! Your website is still looking great, and the images you've included are great too. The best part about the whole book is your writing though! There's something about the tone of your writing and the words you choose that make the whole story seem so eerie, even before the ghost is even mentioned! It makes reading your stories so much fun. I thought the story itself was really interesting as well! I always feel spooked when I'm in the stacks by myself-- there's such something creepy about being in there with the glass floors and all the old books. This week we're supposed to comment on paragraphing too. I like that your paragraphs aren't too long-- that can make them difficult to read and follow along with. Yours are just the right size, so I appreciate that! Overall, great job with your project!

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  27. Hi Donovan!

    I love the concept of this storybook! I've heard tell that there are many spooky stories associated with the OU campus, but I am not familiar with any, and I was very excited to see that I would be able to learn about them through your storybook. In your first story about the Huff (it's fun to hear this term again - it was the Huff my freshman year, but since the name changed everyone calls it Sarkey's, which I don't think sounds nearly as cool) I like how you set up the opposition between the Gym-Rats and the Bench-Warmers. It reminded me a little bit of the Sharks vs. Jets archetype that originated in West Side Story. I am a little bit confused about what actually happened to the Gym-Rat players after the game ended, however; you state that they went off in the direction of the showers and disappeared, but is there any indication of what might have happened to them? Is the implication that they died? Your second story is also fantastic, and I particularly enjoyed how you set up the characters and their caustic relationship. It was nice to see that John was able to exact his revenge using his smarts to ricochet projectile rubber bands, but the fact that he ultimately suffered the worse fate was very sad to read. Great job on this storybook so far; I'm excited to read the next installment!

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  28. Hey Donovan!

    So I just read the huff and here are some of my thoughts - I loved your story. I think it was really interesting, and I really liked reading about a real place that I try to go to every once in a while. I think it's always important to have someone in the story for your readers to connect to. This means including names and personalities for you characters. If you decide to add more detail or add to your word count, I think this would be a great start! The way you ended your story was also really well written. Talking about how you could hear the old song, and the light in the shower would flicker is super ominous and I loved it. I think it added that supernatural flare that every great horror story has. Good luck on the rest of your stories, and I can't wait to read the next one.

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  29. Hi Donovan! I haven’t checked out your project yet, so I was excited to get to read it this week. You picked a really fun topic for your storybook. I have definitely been on an OU ghost tour, and it was a lot of fun. Have you gone on an official one before, or are you just interested in this topic? I think that it is really interesting that there is an actual book about the ghosts in Norman. It seems like it was a great resource to incorporate into your project. I think that the writing in your stories does a nice job of conveying the somewhat scary storytelling aspect. I think that the layout of your site is nice. You might consider featuring some different images in your story or changing the size of them, though. It looks like some got resized and are somewhat blurry. Great job overall on your project!

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  30. Hi Donovan!
    What a creative and fun idea. I live off campus (way off campus, in Edmond) so these places aren't very familiar to me, but I have seen them. I like that you took the places that the (most of) students know well and made them spooky.

    I noticed your Intro page is out of order, but that is a quick fix.
    The stories also seemed a little long and could probably be focused a little using the editing tools and active verbs more often than passive one. I really found Prof Gibbs' editing tools helpful.

    Again, great aesthetic, clever idea. Well done!

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  31. I just read your story about the bizz and really enjoyed it. You created an excellent story and it seemed very believable. I am honestly a bit surprised each time when I read the authors note and find out that these are just works of fiction. I think that the library is an excellent location for a spooky story like this, especially the library decks, because they have a real creepy vibe to them. I like that is where the story ended, and I will definitely be recalling this story if I am ever near that part of the library. I also really liked how you described what people will occasionally experience while in the library. I think that describing you did a good job describing his shots and I really like how you called back on it at the end. I especially like the very last line where you call back to the wasp shot and say that you wouldn’t want to get stung.

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  32. Hi Donovan!
    I'm from the Indian Epics class! It is so cool that you used OU in this storybook because I have definitely heard rumored ghost stories about our campus! The eerie picture of the Bizz you used is also really fitting for your stories. I thought it was neat that this is told from the perspective of an alumnus written to an incoming student. I’m glad you titled your first story "The Huff" because I will always know it as the Huff, not Sarkey’s. Your Gym-Rats story was really interesting and I had never heard of any specific Huff haunting stories. These stories actually make me kind of scared because they are based on actual Norman ghost stories…I’ve heard rumors that the Bizz was actually haunted, but this definitely made me a little terrified to be in the Bizz alone at night now. I suppose that means this was an effective ghost story, so great job!

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